Avoiding burnout while your children are distance learning
Wondering how you’re going to survive another day of distance learning? While everyone’s at home, working and learning, it’s hard to find time (and space) for yourself. Many parents, especially mothers, feel guilty about taking time out to recharge. In fact, some “me time” is one of the best ways to help your children succeed. Scheduling time for yourself isn’t selfish – it’s a key component of wellness that allows you to emotionally invest in your family and have the patience and perspective you need to support children at home. Practicing self care is a healthy way to model stress management for your children.
Start Off Small
Changing your lifestyle doesn’t happen overnight. Little breaks to integrate self care throughout your busy day are great for recentering your mind without completely altering your schedule. Set an alarm every few hours to make a cup of tea , disconnect from your phone or step outside in the sun for a few minutes. These intentional moments of solitude do wonders to refresh your mind and body. Most people cannot effectively sustain highly productive activity for more than an hour. That’s why taking breaks is so important, and research shows it makes people more productive. Even breaks that are just a few minutes long can make a big difference.
Make Space on Your Calendar
In addition to mini breaks throughout the day, schedule time on your calendar exclusively for you. Put aside fifteen minutes in the morning to meditate using an app like Headspace or Calm. Plan a half hour break after the kids go to bed to read a book for enjoyment or listen to music. Carve out a non-negotiable hour to workout, take a yoga class or go for a walk. Put your phone on silent and out of sight, so you make the most of this time for yourself. The dedication you have for self care will pay significant dividends when everything else seems chaotic.
With distance learning, it is just as important that your child takes joy breaks throughout the day too. Notice your child’s body language while “in class” on their device. If they get antsy, give them permission to excuse themselves for a few minutes every 45 minutes to an hour to go outside, jump rope, play with the dog or just get a big hug before they go back to class. Schedule social distance walks or bike rides with neighbors after lunch and bring the kids along.
Asking for Help is Smart
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness or that you aren’t capable. It is a recognition that we share responsibility for a healthy home environment. Children thrive when they are included in age appropriate chores that are appreciated and contribute to the smooth running of a household. Make chores a family affair and get the kids involved. A praising statement for a job well done is form of affection that helps children (and even spouses) feel secure and loved. Loosening the reins on what is in your control frees up valuable time to spend caring for yourself and others. No matter how big or small the task, you don’t have to do it alone!
Just Say No
If you aren’t used to it, saying no can be very difficult. It’s important not to spread yourself too thin by prioritizing everyone else’s needs before your own. Consider the relative priority of all the items on your to do list and who benefits. When you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed it’s ok to shorten the list by saying no to some requests or turning down a volunteer opportunity. Delegate items on your list or delete them until you feel like its manageable and you’re at peace with it. Reassure the important people in your life that you are still there for them, but you need to prioritize right now and take good care of yourself.
With a seemingly endless list of things to do in the day it can be hard to focus on the time you set aside for yourself. Make it a priority. Parenting is difficult, especially right now. You’re doing your best, and taking care of yourself will make the journey more manageable and enjoyable.
